جملاتی که نباید در برابر قربانیان تجاوز استفاده کنیم
کنار آمدن با این اتفاق نیازمند درمانهای روانشناسی و روانپزشکی است اما مهمترین نکته این است که آنها این حادثه را به عنوان یک راز پیش خودشان نگه ندارند. همچنین این نوجوانان نباید به عنوان مقصر شناخته شوند. به کار بردن جملاتی نظیر اینکه «چرا به من نگفتی؟» و یا «چرا این کار را انجام دادی؟» نشان میدهد کودک وابسته است. از سوی دیگر تهدید فرد متجاوز نیز بخش دیگری از آسیب روانی است که به این کودکان و نوجوانان وارد میشود و باید در مراحل درمان مورد توجه قرار بگیرد.
دکتر حسام فیروزی، روان درمانگر کودک، نوجوان و خانواده نیز درگفتوگو با ایسنا، با بیان اینکه متجاوزان امروز به نوعی خودشان قربانیان دیروز هستند، گفت: باید به سمت آگاهی دادن به جامعه حرکت کنیم تا این افراد در امنیت روانی به سمت درمان سوق پیدا کنند. زمانی که جامعه آموزش نبیند، تعداد قربانیان و متجاوزان بیشتر میشود.
وی با تاکید بر اینکه این فرد ممکن است بیمار نباشد اما شخصیت وی تا حدی به بلوغ نرسیده باشد که نداند چه آسیبی به دیگران وارد کرده است، افزود: امکان شناسایی این افراد با استفاده از پروتکلها و تستهای روانشناسی وجود دارد اما این تشخیص به شکل ۱۰۰ درصدی نیست. با انجام مصاحبه میشود تشخیص داد که فرد دچار مشکلات روانی هست یا نه؟ اما باید فرد بیمار روانی را از کسی که به بلوغ روانی نرسیده است، تفکیک کرد.
این روان درمانگر با تاکید بر اینکه بیماریهای روانی قابل تشخیص هستند اما تشخیص بلوغ شخصیتی و روانی به آسانی انجام نمیشود، اظهار کرد: یکی از شاخصهای بلوغ شخصیتی، مسئولیت پذیری است. فردی که مسئولیت پذیر نباشد هر کاری که بخواهد و با هر شیوهای انجام میدهد بدون اینکه عواقب آن را بپذیرد. با این وجود استفاده از تستهای روانشناسی برای شناسایی این افراد میتواند کمک کننده باشد.
فیروزی با اشاره به اینکه در صورتیکه این افراد دچار بیماری و انحراف جنسی باشند ممکن است رفتارها و ویژگیهای مشترکی در آنها دیده شود، تاکید کرد: با این وجود فردی که به چنین اعمالی دست میزند الزاما بیمار نیست.
وی با اشاره به ابعاد غریزه جنسی در نوجوانان نیز توضیح داد: زمانی که نوجوانان به سن بلوغ جسمی میرسند تا زمانی که به فردی بالغ تبدیل میشوند مدت زمان نسبتا طولانی را در بر میگیرد. دوران مدرن باعث شده است تا دوره نوجوانی طولانیتر شود. در نسلهای قبل همزمان با بلوغ جسمی در ۱۳ یا ۱۴ سالگی فرد میتوانست ازدواج کند و وارد زندگی شود اما نوجوان امروز ممکن است تا ۲۰ سالگی نیز این شرایط را نداشته باشد. نمیشود غریزه نوجوان را سرکوب کرد اما باید آن را به مسیر درستی هدایت کرد.
این روان درمانگر در ادامه با اشاره به اینکه غریزه جنسی، غریزهای طبیعی است و در صورتیکه قطعهای از سیستم روان فرد دچار اختلال شود کل عملکرد او از کار میافتد، اظهار کرد: بنابراین باید متناسب با شرایط فرهنگی به آنها آموزش داد تا بتوانند غریزه خودشان را ابتدا بشناسند و بعد ببینند که باید با آن چه کنند؟ برای مثال میتوان با فعالیتهایی نظیر ورزش کردن، پرداختن به تفریحات مختلف و … این بخش را در کانال مناسبی قرار داد.
فیروزی با ارائه توصیههایی به خانوادههای درگیر حوادث تجاوز اظهار کرد: کنار آمدن با این اتفاق نیازمند درمانهای روانشناسی و روانپزشکی است اما مهمترین نکته این است که آنها این حادثه را به عنوان یک راز پیش خودشان نگه ندارند. همچنین این نوجوانان نباید به عنوان مقصر شناخته شوند. به کار بردن جملاتی نظیر اینکه «چرا به من نگفتی؟» و یا «چرا این کار را انجام دادی؟» نشان میدهد کودک وابسته است. از سوی دیگر تهدید فرد متجاوز نیز بخش دیگری از آسیب روانی است که به این کودکان و نوجوانان وارد میشود و باید در مراحل درمان مورد توجه قرار بگیرد.
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