دکتر حسام فیروزی دکتر حسام فیروزی | روان‌درمانگر کودک، نوجوان و خانواده | کلینیک دکتر حسام فیروزی – Dr Hesam Firoozi
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اولین رابطه‌ای را که انسان تجربه میکند – دکتر آذردخت مفید
اولین رابطه‌ای را که انسان تجربه میکند رابطه‌ی کودک-مادر یا کودک-والد (والد یا جایگزین آن) است. این رابطه ویژگی‌های خاص خود را دارد. کودک در رابطه گیرنده و والد دهنده است. کودک تقاضای عشق بی‌قید وشرط دارد یعنی نیاز دارد علی‌رغم هر کاری خلاف میل والد باز والد به او پیغام بدهد که برای او با ارزش و دوست داشتنی است.
مرز مشخص روانی بین والد و کودک وجود ندارد. هردو در مرزهای دیگری سیر می‌کنند. کودک ناخوآگاه در یک نیاز وابسته چسبنده، به مرزهای روانی والد تجاوز میکند و والد با ایثار تحمل میکند. کودک مطالبه‌گر است و اگر تمایلاتش برآورده نشود دچارغضب میکند و احساس تهدید فراوان میکند و این را در ناخودآگاه خود تجاوز به مرز خویشتن حساب میکند و با پرخاشگری انتقام‌جویانه پاسخ می‌دهد یعنی به مرزهای روانی والد تجاوز میکند. تمام این خصوصیاتی که در ارتیاط والد-کودک شمرده شد نه نتیجه دوست داشتن بلکه در اثر وابستگی شدید کودک به والد خویش است.
روان کودک با روان والد درآمیخته و مرزهای روانی مشخص نبوده و در هم آمیخته می‌باشد. این شرایط در ابتدای کودکی و نوزادی بهنجار است ولی با سیر رشدی کودک به آهستگی در آور کم شدن این وابستگی مرزهای من مشخص‌تر می‌شود تا در دوران بلوغ و بزرگسالی مرزهای کاملا مشخص و شکل بگیرد. یعنی در یک رشد بهنجار رابطه‌ی کودک-والد به رابطه‌ی بالغ-بالغ تغییر می‌یابد.
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