بستر تربیت بر پایه سه چیز است:
احترام، تفاوت و انتخاب
احترام از کلمه حرمت می آید و حریم یعنی مرز و احترام گذاشتن به کودک و رعایت مرزهای روانی و جسمانیاش. احترام گذاشتن به کودک باعث میشود کودک آرام آرام حریمهای خود را شناخته و مرز و محدودهای برای روان خود تعیین نماید و برای خودِ روانیاش ارزش قائل شود. نداشتن مرز و محدوده در بزرگسالی باعث میشود فرد به هویت دست پیدا نکند.
کودکان با یکدیگر متفاوتاند و با سرعتها ی متفاوتی رشد میکنند. از خود و از کودکمان انتظار کامل و بیعیب بودن نداشته باشید.
کودکان در انتخاب کردن ظرفیت محدودی دارند. حق انتخاب به کودک به این مفهوم است که ابتدا کودک را بین ۲ انتخاب این و آن قرار دهیم. به دو منظور والدین باید به کودکان خود حق انتخاب بدهند:
۱- جلوگیری از نه گفتنهای اضافی و قشقرق
۲- افزایش اعتماد به نفس
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